What Are the Signs You May Be in an Abusive Marriage or Relationship?

August 4, 2022
Abusive marriages and relationships have many characteristics. The abuse does not have to come in a strictly physical or emotional place. However, sometimes when you’re inside an abusive marriage or relationship, it can be difficult to realize the gravity of the situation. You can only see what’s in front of you and assume what is happening is normal.

For those trapped in the cycle of abuse and thinking about contacting a family law firm in Burlington County, NJ, here are some warning signs that will make you aware that you are in an abusive marriage or relationship. 

What Constitutes Abusive Behavior?

For many people, knowing what constitutes abuse and what they can write off as “a bad day at work” or any number of other explanations becomes the first step towards leaving. Abusive behavior in a relationship, commonly referred to as domestic violence, intimate partner violation, or dating abuse, involves one partner’s aggressive actions toward the other. These actions include physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, or mental harm to the other party. 

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse within a marriage is a possible form of abuse. It can range from forcing their partner into engaging in sexual activities when they do not want to, disregarding their preferences or feelings, or even pressuring them into dressing a specific way.

Psychological Abuse

Partners suffering from psychological or emotional abuse often don’t show physical signs of trauma or abuse. However, this type can have far-reaching effects on how the victim views the world, themselves, and their place in it. Often, the emotional toll levied by this type of abuse can ruin a person’s self-esteem and make it next to impossible to leave the marriage on their own. 

Psychological abuse comes in various forms, with the most common including:
  • Humiliation — criticizing everything their partner does, name-calling, belittling accomplishments, and ruining someone’s self-worth or esteem. 
  • Control — the abuser controls every aspect of their partner’s life: who they hang out with, who they can talk to, and demanding all of the attention be on them are signs you are in a controlling relationship.
  • Gaslighting — a partner takes all of the accusations you levied at them and turns them around on the other person. They make a spouse feel like they are the crazy one, and it is all in their head.
  • Neglect and Isolation — in an abusive marriage, one partner will isolate the other from loved ones, making them feel like they are alone in this. They try to cut their spouse off from outlets that may guide them out of the marriage or relationship. 

Physical Abuse

In physically abusive relationships, your partner will take their frustrations out on you. During an abusive marriage, the periods of violence can be interspersed with periods of true love and affection, making you feel that the physical outbursts are your fault and that if you could do things differently, then everything would be better. It is not acceptable to put a hand on your significant other or spouse, no matter what the situation.

The Most Common Signs You Are in an Abusive Marriage

 While an abusive marriage looks different based on a wide range of factors, you can still be on the lookout for some telltale signs.
  • You aren’t in charge of making your own decisions
  • You feel like you are constantly apologizing for your actions and are afraid of their reaction
  • You avoid talking about your relationship with close friends and family
  • Your partner engages in “love bombing” — giving lavishing gifts and praise after abusive behavior
  • You think everything wrong with the relationship is exclusively your fault
  • Every disagreement turns into a screaming match
  • The version of your partner you get changes by the day
  • You lost confidence in how you view the world
  • You don’t remember who you were before the relationship

What Does the Cycle of Abuse Look Like?

What You Can Do Now if You Are a Victim of Domestic Violence

Getting the help you need to leave an abusive partner, file for divorce, and protect yourself and your children can feel overwhelming, but you have resources that can help make the process less stressful. 

Contacting your local domestic violence helpline can help with immediate needs, while partnering with an experienced divorce lawyer in Burlington County, NJ, can get the process started. Berg & Pearson, PC has the experience to help navigate the complex and most likely heated divorce proceedings and give you the support you need to see it through. Contact our team for your first consultation today at 856-251-0080. You may also want to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website for additional information.
By 7016254499 April 17, 2025
Divorce is never easy, but it becomes even more complex when financial matters come into play. In New Jersey, one of the most critical aspects of a divorce proceeding is financial disclosure. Whether you are headed for mediation, negotiation, or a courtroom battle, understanding the importance of full and honest financial disclosure can make or break your case. What is Financial Disclosure? Financial disclosure is the process by which both parties in a divorce case provide complete and accurate information about their income, expenses, assets, and debts. This is typically done through a document called the Case Information Statement (CIS) in New Jersey. The CIS is a comprehensive financial snapshot that includes: • Income (from all sources) • Monthly expenses • Real estate holdings • Bank accounts • Investments and retirement accounts • Personal property of value • Debts and liabilities Why It Matters 1. Ensures Fair Division of Assets New Jersey follows the principle of equitable distribution, which means marital assets are divided fairly—but not necessarily equally. For a judge (or mediator) to determine what’s fair, both parties must be transparent about what they own and owe. Incomplete or dishonest disclosures can result in an unfair division or a ruling being overturned later. 2. Supports Accurate Spousal and Child Support Calculations Support payments—whether spousal or child—are based largely on income and financial need. If a party underreports their income or inflates their expenses, it could result in an unjust support award. Full financial disclosure ensures that support calculations reflect the true financial circumstances of both parties. 3. Protects Against Future Legal Issues If it is discovered that a party concealed assets or lied on their CIS, the court can reopen the case and issue penalties. This could include paying the other party’s legal fees, awarding a greater share of the marital assets to the honest spouse, or even criminal charges in severe cases. Full disclosure protects both parties from future litigation and ensures finality in the divorce settlement. 4. Builds Trust in the Process Even in contentious divorces, transparency can help reduce animosity and encourage resolution. When both sides know that the other is being open and honest, it fosters trust and can speed up the negotiation process. This can save time, money, and emotional energy. What Happens if Someone Doesn’t Disclose Fully? New Jersey courts take financial disclosure very seriously. If a party fails to comply, the court can: • Compel disclosure via court orders or subpoenas • Impose sanctions, including fines • Award attorney’s fees to the other party • Reopen and modify the divorce judgment • Hold the non-disclosing party in contempt Tips for Accurate Financial Disclosure • Start gathering your financial documents early • Be thorough—include all accounts and income sources • Review your CIS with your attorney before submission • Do not guess—use exact figures where possible • Update your disclosures if your financial situation changes Conclusion Financial disclosure is not just a procedural formality—it is the foundation of a fair and equitable divorce in New Jersey. Whether you are the spouse seeking support or the one paying it, honesty and accuracy in your financial disclosures will help you reach a resolution that reflects the true economic realities of both parties. If you are considering divorce or have questions about your financial obligations, it is essential to consult with an experienced New Jersey family law attorney who can guide you through the process and ensure your rights are protected.
By 7016254499 November 12, 2024
Donald Trump indicated that Tom Homan, the former acting U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement director under Mr. Trump’s previous administration, will serve as “Border Czar” in his incoming administration. This position will likely play an important function in furtherance of Mr. Trump’s campaign pledges to secure the border and target individuals for in a massive deportation operation. Mr. Homan previously warned that, “no one’s off the table. If you’re here illegally, you better be looking over your shoulder.” He further assured. “You’ve got my word. Trump comes back in January, I’ll be in his heels coming back, and I will run the biggest deportation operation this country’s ever seen.” He further said, “It’s going to be a well-targeted, planned operation conducted by the men of ICE. The men and women of ICE do this daily. They’re good at it.” When asked whether there was a way to carry out deportations without separating families, he said, “Families can be deported together.” In today’s heightened political climate on the issue of immigration, it is highly recommended that you take all steps to assure your legal status in the United States. If you are married to a United States Citizen and living in the United States without proper credentials, you should take steps to become legal. If you are a permanent resident, now is the time to become a United States Citizen.
By 7016254499 October 21, 2024
Essential Qualities to Look for in a Divorce Lawyer Going through a divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in a person's life. Choosing the right divorce lawyer can make a significant difference in navigating this difficult process. Here are the most important qualities and factors to consider when selecting a divorce attorney. 1. Experience and Expertise When it comes to divorce, experience matters. Look for a lawyer who specializes in family law and has a proven track record in handling divorce cases. An experienced attorney will be familiar with local laws, court procedures, and potential pitfalls, giving you an advantage in your case. 2 . Strong Communication Skills A good divorce lawyer should communicate clearly and effectively. They should be able to explain complex legal concepts in a way you can understand and keep you informed about the progress of your case. Look for someone who listens to your concerns and responds promptly to your questions. 3. Empathy and Understanding Divorce can be emotionally draining. An empathetic lawyer can provide not only legal support but also emotional understanding. Look for someone who demonstrates compassion and is sensitive to the stress you’re experiencing, as this can make the process more manageable. 4. Strategic Thinking Divorce cases often require strategic planning. A competent lawyer should be able to assess your situation, identify the best course of action, and anticipate potential challenges. They should work with you to develop a tailored strategy that aligns with your goals. 5. Negotiation Skills Many divorce cases are settled outside of court through negotiation. A skilled negotiator can help you reach a fair settlement that meets your needs. Look for a lawyer who has strong negotiation skills and is willing to advocate fiercely on your behalf while remaining open to compromise when appropriate. 6. Reputation and Reviews Researching a lawyer’s reputation can provide valuable insight. Look for online reviews, testimonials, and ratings from past clients. You can also ask for recommendations from friends or family who have gone through a similar experience. A lawyer with a positive reputation in the community is more likely to be reliable and effective. 7. Transparent Fees and Billing Understanding the costs associated with hiring a divorce lawyer is crucial. Look for someone who is transparent about their fees and billing practices. Ask about their hourly rates, retainer fees, and any additional costs you might incur. A good lawyer will provide a clear breakdown of what you can expect financially. 8. Compatibility and Trust You’ll be sharing personal and sensitive information with your lawyer, so it’s important to find someone you feel comfortable with. Trust your instincts when meeting potential lawyers. Choose someone whose approach resonates with you and whom you feel you can rely on throughout the process. 9. Accessibility and Support Divorce can be a lengthy process, and you want a lawyer who is accessible when you need them. Consider their availability and willingness to support you. A lawyer who makes time for their clients and prioritizes communication can help you feel more secure during this transitional period. 10. Understanding of Child Custody Issues (if applicable) If children are involved in your divorce, finding a lawyer with a strong understanding of child custody laws is essential. They should be knowledgeable about what factors the court considers in custody arrangements and how to advocate for your children’s best interests. Conclusion Choosing the right divorce lawyer can significantly impact the outcome of your case and your overall experience. By considering these essential qualities, you can find a legal advocate who aligns with your needs and helps you navigate the complexities of divorce with confidence. Take your time in the selection process and prioritize finding someone who will support you through this challenging chapter of your life. The lawyers at Berg & Pearson, P.C. are here to help!
By 7016254499 October 8, 2024
Divorce is a deeply emotional and difficult process, and it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Here are some steps that might help you navigate the situation. 1. Give yourself space to process emotions:       •     Take time to process what you’re feeling. Shock, sadness, anger, and confusion are common reactions.       •     It can be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor to help you sort through your emotions. 2. Communicate with your spouse:       •     When you’re ready, have a calm conversation with your spouse. Try to understand the reasons behind their decision.       •     If emotions run high, consider using a neutral space or even a mediator to facilitate the conversation. 3. Seek legal advice: Contact Michael H. Berg, Esq., or Joy A. Pearson, Esq., our lawyers who practice family law who can help you understand your rights and what to expect from the process. Getting professional guidance is important. 4. Take care of practical matters:       •     Consider joint assets, debts, and financial responsibilities. You might want to begin organizing important documents, like financial records, mortgages, and other assets.       •     If you have children, start thinking about how to approach custody, visitation, and support in a way that prioritizes their well-being. 5. Find support:       •     This is a challenging time, so don’t hesitate to lean on trusted friends or family for emotional support.       •     Divorce support groups or individual therapy can be helpful for finding a sense of community or guidance from people who understand what you’re going through. 6. Take care of yourself:       •     This is a draining time emotionally, physically, and mentally, so prioritize self-care as much as you can. Sleep, eat well, and try to maintain routines or hobbies that keep you grounded.
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